It's true, underneath all this kevlar and body armor soldiers also have a heart and soul. Even though we sometimes don't show it, we even have feelings too. We are not always the cold-hearted ruthless trained warriors that is sometimes portrayed. Even when we may be on the front lines doing our job, our heart and soul can be in other places. Their is a balance that each soldier must find between the military and his personal life. No matter where we are in the world, whatever desolate hell we are in, their is always someone who we miss and cherish. Whether it be your mom and dad, your girlfriend or fiance, or your wife and kids, half your heart is with them at all times. It is a balance that is at times difficult to keep. You find out it is impossible to control the events that occur on the homefront, therefore you tend to feel helpless. All you can attempt to control is what you can touch, see, smell, hear, etc. At times these feelings can drive you mad, but then again, we are soldiers so we can not let anyone know we are affected by these events. We must stay focused on whatever mission lies ahead and pray for the best back home.
For the past week or so I have been in a funk. I have had trouble sleeping and have been a tad bit irritable as of late. I had alot on my mind and no one to really share it with. Things haven't been so well on the homefront and I thank God I can still call the woman I love so dearly my fiance. As hard and lonely a deployment can make a soldier, the feelings are tenfold on the people we leave behind. When the going gets rough, the strong keep going. I thank God that I have found someone who is willing to keep going when things get rough, to see this through to the end and for not giving up on us; not giving up on me.
Being in the military you are constantly struggling to keep a balanced life. Each day you wake up, life is a learning experience. The choices you make decide whether or not that learning experience will be solo or not. I can only hope that with each day I do learn how to keep that healthy balance between the military and the woman I love.
So the next time you see a picture of a soldier who is deployed, take a real close look into those eyes and underneath that chiseled and solid look, you will see a heart and soul because we truly are still human.......